A hilarious account of what happens in this country!
A Team comprising of a Writer, a
Producer, a Director, etc applied to the Government of India for
financial assistance with the script to produce a Movie on Mahabharata.
All of them committed suicide later and the reason will be very obvious once you have read the reply from Govt.
Dated ............ .........
Subject: Mahabharata
To: The Writer, Film Director & Film Producer, Mumbai
Ref:
Film story submitted by you, regarding financing of films by Government
of India , Your letter dt. ............ . ......... .
The
undersigned is directed to refer the above letter and state that the
Government has examined your proposal for financing a film
called ''Mahabharat' . The Very High Level Committee constituted for this
purpose has been in consultation with the Human Rights Commission,
National Commission for Women and
Labour Commission, in addition to various Ministries and State
Governments and have formed definitive opinions about the script. Their
observations are as below:
1. In the script submitted by you it
is shown that there were two sets of cousins, namely, the Kauravas,
numbering one hundred, and the Pandavas, numbering five. The Ministry of
Health and Family Welfare has pointed out that these numbers are high,
well above the norm prescribed for families by them It is brought to
your kind attention that when the Government is spending huge amounts
for promoting family planning, this will send wrong signals to the
public. Therefore, it is recommended that there may be only three
Kauravas and one Pandava.
2. The Ministry of Parliamentary
Affairs has raised an issue whether it is suitable to depict kings and
emperors in this democratic age. Therefore, it is suggested that the
Kauravas may be depicted as Honourable Members of
Parliament (Lok Sabha) and the Pandava maybe depicted as Honourable
Member of Parliament (Rajya Sabha). The ending of the film shows the
victory of the said Pandavas over the said Kauravas. The ending may be
suitably modified so that neither of the Honourable Members of
Parliament are shown as being inferior to the other.
3. The
Ministry of Science and Technology has observed that the manner of birth
of Kauravas is suggestive of human cloning, a technology banned in
India . This may be changed to normal birth.
4. The National
Commission for Women has objected that the father of Pandavas, one Sri
Pandu is depicted as bigamous, and also there is only one wife for the
Pandavas in common. Therefore suitable changes maybe made in the said
script so that the said Sri Pandu is not depicted as bigamous. However,
with the reduction in number of Pandavas as suggested above, the issue
of polyandry can be addressed without further
trouble.
5. The Commission for the Physically Challenged has
observed that the portrayal of the visually impaired character
'Dhritharastra' is derogatory. Therefore the said character may not be
shown as visually impaired.
6. The Department of Women and Child
Development have highlighted that the public disrobing of one female
character called 'Draupadi' is objectionable and derogatory to women in
general. Further the Home Ministry anticipates that depiction of such
scenes may create law and order problem and at the same time invite
strong protests from the different women forums. Such scenes may also
invite penal action under SITA (Suppression of Immoral Traffic Act),
therefore they may be avoided and deleted from the film.
7. It
is felt that showing the Pandava and the Kauravas as gamblers will be
anti-social and counter-productive as it might encourage gambling.
Therefore, the said Pandava and Kauravas may be
shown to have engaged in horse racing. (Hon. Supreme Court has held
horse racing not to be gambling)
8. The Pandavas are shown as
working in the King Virat's employment without receiving any salary.
According to the Human Rights Commission, this amounts to bonded labour
and may attract provisions of The Bonded Labour System (Abolition) Act,
1976. This may be corrected at once.
9. In the ensuing war, one
character by name Sri Abhimanyu has been shown as fighting. The National
Labour Commission has observed that, war being a hazardous industry,
and the said character being 16 years old, this depiction will be
construed as a case of child labour. Also there is no record of his
being paid any compensation. This may also be deemed to be violatory of
the provisions of The Child Labour (Prohibition and Regulation) Act,
1986 and Minimum Wages Act, 1948. Such references in the film may be
removed.
10. The character
'Sri Krishna' has been depicted as wearing a peacock feather. The
peacock is our National Bird and wearing dresses made from peacock
feather is an offence under the Wild Life Protection Act, 1972. This may
not be depicted.
11. Smt Maneka Gandhi has raised very serious
objection for using any elephants or horses in war scenes, since there
is every scope for mistreatment and injury to the said animals. The
provisions of the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Act, 1890 and
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (Amendment) Act, 1960 would be
applicable in the instant case. Suitable changes may be made in the
script to address the objections raised.
12. In pursuance of the
Memorandum of Ministry of Finance regarding austerity measures, it is
informed that in the battle field sequences, only ten soldiers may be
allowed for each side. Also, all the characters may be shown to have
obtained a valid licence under the Arms Act, 1959 as well as
the Indian Arms Act, 1878.You are therefore requested to modify the
script along the lines indicated above and resubmit it to the
undersigned at the earliest for reconsideration.
Sd/-
Under Secretary
This was received as an email forward. Original writer unknown! Read, Enjoy, Share!
